Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
