Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
