shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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