Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
