I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Less talking, more tequila
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
