i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
