Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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