Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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