I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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