ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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