there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
