Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
