dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
