He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
