Someone shit on the floor
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
