There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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