I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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