Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think your dad took our porno
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize