FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
