did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Randomize
