Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
