YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
