i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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