The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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