i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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