Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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