How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
