for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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