Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
