Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
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I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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