If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
