I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
MIDGETS
????
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
