i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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