Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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