Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize