I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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