think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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