I understand Curling. That high.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
