I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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