So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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