I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize
