lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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