dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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