you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
