great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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