I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
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i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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