haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
