After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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