Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize