Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
