I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We need to rekindle our bromance
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
