In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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