she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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