I feel like abortions should bother me more
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize