if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
