i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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