dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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